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On the topic of Happiest Season, I feel you about being disappointed at some of the reaction towards people in the closet. The discourse about how white the movie is barely happening, instead it’s lukewarm takes from people talking about Harper being a horrible emotionally abusive gaslighter and that Abby should run away with Riley. As a person who was closeted for a long time and still is to most of my family, who relates so much to Harper, although I wouldn’t have lied to my girlfriend to begin with, all of her choices over the course of those days make sense to me (not talking about the situation with Riley in high school). They’re not perfect choices, but it’s not like the movie isn’t clear about why she’s making them. The last third of the movie felt like the walls were closing around her, every choice makes sense in that context. Of course she didn’t just accept being outed five seconds after it happened in front of 20 people after decades in the closet, of course after a moment of reflection thinking about losing the love of her life she looked around and was like “what am I doing this for?” and changed her mind. And of course Abby was well within her rights to refuse to accept her apology and leave, but also of course she would have looked at this person she loved who for a year before those five days she had a ‘perfect’ relationship with, seen that their one hurdle was on its way to being cleared, heard the speech about Harper wanting sincerely to right her wrongs, and stayed. In what world is that a baffling choice? It’s not like she immediately proposed. I related to Harper more than I have to a character in a while, especially to the feeling of being ripped in two. It”s why I’ve made the choices I’ve made in the past to not get into serious relationships, precisely because this is my worst nightmare. Maybe it’s because I’m not white and I feel the tension between losing your family and losing your partner perhaps uniquely, when losing my family includes losing my culture and community (or at least that’s how I’ve felt). But you can happily ship Abby and Riley, and want Abby to have left for completely valid reasons about wanting two different things in a partner, without some of the vitriol being spewed at Harper in full view of sections of the community that are hurt every time they see it. I know I’m not brave enough. I don’t need reminding.

“I know I’m not brave enough. I don’t need reminding.“ Oooof, anon. I’m so sorry that you and others have been made to feel like this. :/

Unrelated, though, this whole ask is so well said, your points are so well made, I was honestly intimidated even trying to answer.

As you said, the movie explains why Harper’s behaving as she is, she’s ashamed and scared, why is every action read in the worst possible light, often exaggerated and even falsely?? Your explanation of how the ending went down, like, exactly, I cannot believe people are mad that she lied when outed in front of her family and a ton of people like that! That’s a literal nightmare come to life, surely some of us have had that one too?

And exactly, Abby’s in love with her, aside from the admittedly absolutely messed up lies about her sexuality that she absolutely should get help for, their life’s been perfect, with this barrier now taken away by Harper’s big step, why would she not try for it? Especially in a romcom! The way people have forgiven so much more in this genre but a closeted person they absolutely admit is abused separately from that, acts badly a few times and apologizes and is irredeemable.

The not white part’s actually funny to me, because I remember during the arguments over how horrible Jade (TRMD) and Rana (Corrie) were for being closeted or caring about their family, the fandom splits were often along…certain lines. And that’s such a good observation, how it’s a disconnect from culture and community too, then. We lose so much. Obviously the Caldwells are white af but it was amusing to me how many Asian wlw I saw were like, oh… D:

I’m picking random parts to respond to because honestly, your whole ask is perfect on its own. I will, though, agree that it’s absolutely fine to not personally think that Harper deserves that forgiveness or that Abby and Riley should have gotten together, but this really bad faith reading into her intentions just isn’t supported by the writing!

I’m sorry it took so long to respond, I hope you’re feeling better now.