Yay, the good thing about delaying answering these asks is that now I have the benefit of knowing from Devon’s interviews how she was playing these, so that totally affects how I think of that scene.
Although even without that, I tend to go very conservative (as in playing it safest and lowballing, not…being a rights-denying bigot) with how I read f/f scenes, just from years of not wanting to hope for too much or be called delusional or even predatory, thinking it’s more Objective to see less explicit f/f even when canon, which is–that’s a whole separate issue–but it is how I am, so I was already thinking it was more just April catching herself, realizing how emotional and upset she was getting, losing control of herself and pulling back.
And that’s backed by Devon’s interviews now, she wasn’t playing it overtly as April realizing there was something sexual or romantic there, not that that isn’t still a possible layer in all this, in fact, in canon it IS there in the whole arc, there IS some physical awareness of Sterling growing in April, but for the most part, no, I didn’t read that as the same kind of awakening for her as it was for Sterling. I mean, it wouldn’t have been an “awakening” in the same sense even, she’s long known how she feels about women, but I still don’t think it was her going, oh no, this is an intense Adele sitch. I think she was just so upset and bothered by everything in her world then, her family, Craig Wu, and most especially Sterling, things like crushes and romance were not on her mind at all, not even to suddenly snap her out of the spiraling mood.
Ahaha, and then I tried to picture you as someone I love and respect? APRIL, why are you like this. She really was like, hello, fellow heterosexual girl, you look amazing! That’s what straight girls do, right, compliment each other on their looks to boost their confidence! And then unable to continue the charade for five seconds.
Although there might have been a bit of truth in that, the way she looked her up and down… Honestly, Sterling did look good that day.
Oh, I wonder. Not in a way that anybody else could have made that connection, right, I don’t think April was THAT discombobulated and nobody else even mentioned it. But it is an interesting that April made such a point of it to say he brought up secrets nobody else knew, you’d assume maybe he hinted at it.
But still, I think that whole bit was mostly for comedic effect, and it would get pretty unfunny if he held outing her over her head. She’s never want Sterling to use her bombshell if it meant Craig could out her in return. I think she was just disturbed he knew so much and was paranoid that MAYBE he knew about her being gay and then decided he couldn’t and hence went ahead and gave Sterling the info.
Yeah, for sure, their dynamic seems so intense, and especially on April’s side, that definitely leans into the theory. But even if they HAD just been friends, how differently would April have acted, you know? I don’t know if I’d consider that confirmation of the theory or even if we’ll ever get it.
I mean…I want to say something funny but that is literally what happened. An ep trying to discover which boy’ll get you there, after finding out your longtime boyfriend doesn’t…and then your childhood nemesis yells at you and grabs your arm.
Hey, do you think April already had a secret crush on Sterling? Or she became attracted when Sterling kissed her?
Did April like Sterling when she was being mean to her early on?
Do you think April had a crush on Sterling? I think Sterling might have had one on April (if maybe subconsciously) when they were younger if only because in the scenes where they’re reminiscing on their childhood Sterling seems to remember little details that even April is surprised she remembers
Hmmm. That is the big question, right, was Sterling one of the Adeles, and if so, did it ever go away and if it did, when did it come roaring back?
I don’t know what the show’s version of the timeline would be, I’m not even entirely sure of my own thoughts, but here would be my current feelings:
In the first few eps, there’s a genuine resentment from April toward Sterling, for the reasons I mentioned earlier and obviously the 5th grade thing. Mixed up with all that was probably also a buried attraction, Sterling’s pretty, but she’s also a good enough student to be an actual rival and on some level that’s something April responds to. April also seems strong-minded enough to appreciate how principled Sterling is, except it makes her even more resentful, thinking it’s fake.
So you enter ep 6 with this swirling maelstrom. teen hormones, resentment past and present, having to suppress any gay feelings, probably hiding them from even herself, the recent agitation of her father’s situation and the resulting social humiliation. I don’t think she’d like, been sitting there examining her feelings and being like, omg, I have a crush, damn, I wish I didn’t have this crush on this snake, I think she just had complicated messy feelings about Sterling, former friend and current rival, who can hold her own against her but also keeps reaching out and being nice. And then it all comes to a head at the competition, where she’s actually teaming up with her, having to think of her as an ally (if grudging), and then the 5th Grade Betrayal comes up again and Sterling seems to genuinely have no idea about it and immediately and earnestly wants to apologize. When Sterling refused to use the info against Craig, April was furious in the moment but I think that really was when everything really changed.
She’s yelling at Sterling, right, angry at her and also at herself for trusting her to do this and being hurt again and you can see that moment where she catches herself and pulls back:
As much as we (understandably!) talk about Sterling’s reaction here, April was having a Moment of her own. I mean, don’t think she went home and had a Clueless fountains realization, I’m in love with Sterling Wesley, but I think she did realize she’d been overreacting, over a lot of things, as she said in 1×08, her anger had been “misdirected”, and that might even mean that Sterling had been an Adele. But now the realization gave her a lot of room to think about Sterling’s good qualities without always stopping short because of the bad (or what she thought were bad). Because with everything else, refusing to use that info against Craig was actually super admirable.
I think a lot of Sterling’s flirting over their project actually DID get a response from April, the way she grudgingly admitted she didn’t think Luke was right for Sterling, the whole conversation about Naomi and Ruth with her confused about Sterling’s motives but also curious in so many ways about her thoughts on it. At that stage and with the specific complexity of this situation, it’s hard to really define it, I don’t think she was in a place where she had fully decided her feelings and was just waiting for a sign to act on them, I think even then she was ready to remain alone for the whole of high school, at the very least, buuuut, to answer all your questions, I think she absolutely did have increasingly positive and warm feelings about Sterling at that point, maybe some wistful what-ifs, and then the kiss opened up a whole world of possibilities.
That’s an interesting observation, last anon, about Sterling having a thing for April and that’s why she remembered things like what she’d quoted to Luke. It’s definitely possible, I do think she has a great memory in general and can probably quote all kinds of stories like that, but that was SO specific. i do agree, though, if it was there, it was subconscious.
I knowww, they really set up so many open threads. Definitely hoping we get another season to at least wrap them up. Including April and Sterling, definitely, and yes, I don’t really expect the writers to let her stay closeted the whole season but I hope she’s not like, outed against her will or something.
And another anon:
Teenage Bounty Hunters re: “wildly different interpretations” about the junior high incident reminds me of a passage from a book I’m reading. “Do you think it’s possible to ever see the past as it actually was?….I see the past as it actually was.” “But we overlay the present onto the past. We look back through the lens of what we know now, so we’re not seeing it as the people we were, we’re seeing it as the people we are, and that means the past has been radically altered.”
Whoa, anon, getting so deep! But you’re probably not wrong, each is looking back with all these other interpretations and layers since, April continuing to process and learn things about herself, Sterling thinking of herself as the victim of April’s supposedly irrational attacks. Neither is probably fully right or fully wrong.
And another anon:
(1 of 2) Ok, finally finished the season, and I think the next ep, when April says when she crushes, she crushes hard lends credence to the different interpretations of the situation. I think April took the “she’s in your group now” way too personally, and compared it to the situation like the one she had with her friend in 2nd grade, that she did something that freaked Sterling out and now Sterling was pushing her away. I really want this to be renewed now to see this further play out. (cont’d)
(2 of 2) Like I’d love to read an angsty fic showing what was going on in Sterling’s head during the lock-in when she saw April with Luke. I mean, maybe she was thinking April was scared and trying too hard to look straight, but given their enemy status before, she could also be thinking, was this all one big cruel joke? It was actually only a couple days that passed, so was she wondering if April had played some sort of twisted mind game on her until they talked it out later?
Oh, that’s possible, Sterling being one of her Adeles, and thus putting a whole different and very personal spin on what seemed like a rejection. And for real, it’s interesting how something they both seem to now have gotten over still has blown up to these mythological proportions in the fandom and we want a s2 followup. Who’s right, what happened? It’s a mystery they set up and then were like, oh well!
Oooof, I didn’t even think about THAT. That would be the CRUELEST joke and I think given their convo outside that’s not where she landed on, but it’s possible, it’s certainly possible, she was confused as hell and that could have been one of the options that flew through her mind. She’s SO new to this, she has no idea how to handle any of it, or what’s normal or at least common.
And another anon:
I took the 5th grade moment differently. I think Sterling repressed what she did because maybe she did have feeling for April even then. It’s the same year that she began to date Luke, who made her feel “normal”. April obviously couldn’t control her crushes even as far back as 2nd grade. Maybe Spencer felt that. I’m hoping this comes up again in season 2. Love your analysis.
Hmmmmmm, interesting, that’s also possible. I think they’re gonna land on Sterling being bi but they’ve also pretty explicitly highlighted how much it is April and just April that, at least for right now, gets to her in a certain, uh, way. Possibly this crush DID exist earlier and she tamped it down, maybe. It’s hard to say any which way but I’m not sure if they will continue it if they get a s2, we seem to be making more of it than they did.
(2/2) Sterling couldnt go along to let April take the fall about the condom, April talks about her dad/family situational home to Sterling) Also what do you think about how their memories were different in 5th grade (April remembers it that Sterling gave her away to another friend, that heartbreak in her voice!! “and you walked away”, but Sterling clearly didn’t remember the part she gave April away and only remember that they just stopped hang out. Thanks
Oh, haha, I was afraid people might think she was referring to a bf, but didn’t really want to spend the time or gifs to clarify that. It wouldn’t really make a difference either way in the story.
Hmm, I don’t know that I would necessarily say the relationship wasn’t bitter just because they both individually agreed on certain things. Although, yeah, I don’t think Sterling particularly hated April, she didn’t think much about her except when April was bothering her, but April clearly did resent her, because of that 5th grade incident (and also envy at seeing everything always seemingly coming so easily for her). I think I already addressed my confusion at their wildly different interpretations of it but actually, this anon as a pretty solid theory:
And another anon:
(Pt 1 of 2I had to rewatch the scene, and I don’t think its that Sterling remembered it incorrectly, I think they put it in totally different contexts. Sterling, Blair, and their friends were playing soccer, and April decided to sit by the swings to do some studying by herself. I think Sterling felt bad that April was all alone while the rest of them were playing, so she took her to Jessica’s group so she wouldn’t be by herself. She probably thought she was helping April out- like when (cont’d)
(pt 2 of 2) she and Blair made up an excuse to bow out of working to try and get Bowser and Yolanda together. And then she just thought they grew apart because April had more in common with Jessica. Meanwhile, as we see, April totally thought Sterling was ditching her and they weren’t friends anymore. I don’t think Sterling ever intended for them to stop being friends, so I think she was shocked that April accidentally thought that.
That’s…a really interesting and possible interpretation. I was going to say at first that she didn’t need to tell April that she was now part of Jessica’s group, but bringing up the excuses they made for Bowser and Yolanda…could be, could be. I’m not entirely convinced but it’s the best theory we have (until we find out Sterling has her own identical twin who was the one who actually did that :P).
Hmm, just rewatched it because I thought Sterling said something harsher but “April’s in your group now.” I can see what you’re saying! STERLING could have been thinking she was adding more friends to April’s group, but APRIL thought she was being moved from one group to another. I kind of hope we get more on this next season, but I suppose as far as the characters are concerned it no longer matters.
