I agree that it doesn’t excuse it, but I don’t think the movie does, it completely places her in the wrong for it, we see Abby’s hurt explicitly, and Harper does acknowledge and apologize for it. It seems a pretty straightforward implementation of how these things ought to go?
I also don’t love coming out movies, but it was always clear that’s what it was going to be so I’m not sure why that’s held against it. And there’ve been some popular shows and movies in the last couple of years that didn’t even get to the happy ending part, let alone check off the other points of a cheesy Hallmark romcom. So I believe it’s more down to the individual project and execution than what it was or wasn’t.
I’ve been trying to answer these in order but I think I’ll just address these all now so people don’t think I’m ignoring them.
And another anon:
[HS] for me it’s not that she wasn’t out to her family that was the issue, it was throwing Abby into the situation headfirst and not telling her what was happening until it was too late for her to back out. she didn’t give Abby a choice in the matter at all, and that’s why I think a lot of people are looking at her and going “wow, she is NOT a good girlfriend.” (also ditching her at home to go out with her friends. I don’t even do that with platonic guests!)
Hmm, to me those are divided into several actions.
First, I did read it as giving her a choice. I had actually watched the trailer and thought it was full of some corny funny moments but later had literally said to a friend, I don’t know if I’ll like this, why did she even invite her to begin with and she doesn’t tell her till they’re at her house? How’re they going to explain that? And that was the impression we were all getting at that stage and people were still happily expectant.
But then the movie itself covered all those bases, she invited her because she was caught up in the moment, once she came to her senses she started regretting it and wanted to get out of it till Abby was like, I want to meet your family so she gave in, still clearly iffy about it, and like, nobody is saying Harper made the best choice at every moment, she very much did not, but not only was that the premise of the story, it was part of her character arc as well? She then did tell Abby and it was up to Abby to actually go or not. Yes, Harper made her case and it would have been hard for Abby to say no, but because she loves Harper and at the time, they both genuinely thought it’d work, Harper wasn’t like, I’m gonna make it horrible for her when I get there, why and how would that even work. People try to do things and then can’t, that’s not a moral failing. But truly, I think their relationship was such that Abby could have said no, I don’t want to do this, and Harper would have driven her back.
And as for the ditching and her not being a good gf, to me that’s a different action and born of the stress of the time. I don’t think you can separate that from everything else going on, we’re made up of everything that goes into us and as Abby herself pointed out, she’s a different person here, how she’s behaving here isn’t how she’s been for at least the last year with her.
And another anon:
Hey, so I get your point about Happiest Season. However, as a closeted muslim who hides everything ,this is my issue with it, let’s say for the sake of the movie we keep the fact that harper brings her girlfriend home even though she’s closeted. The flirting with the ex bf, hanging with friends and leaving abby alone was unnecessary. Bringing her gf home when she’s closeted is just not a good story line in general. I wish they had gone with a much more classic, cliche rom com idea ya know
Adding a cut for the answer to this last one because of length:
I think by the time we got to the ex and hanging out with friends and leaving Abby alone stage, it was to indicate Harper hitting her low. Like, she didn’t start the weekend like that, right, she started it off checking in on her routinely, in her basement room, at the restaurant, this was something that got progressively worse. I think maybe some people are reading her doing all that, the shitty gf stuff, as what she simply wanted to do, but to me, it was clearly part of her downward spiral. That’s what she was referring to in the suffocating convo, it was all pressing down on her. She had thought, when she suggested the plan, that she could do it, look after Abby while stay the same perfect daughter she was every holiday, but it just wasn’t possible, at least not for her. It was easier to be one or the other and she was wrongly choosing the perfect daughter role, and as a person (and a fictional character), it’s hard to compartmentalize everything perfectly. There are whole I Love Lucy episodes devoted specifically to show how the best laid plans fall apart. 😛
And so, choosing the perfect daughter role had to come to a head, it WAS needed for the sake of the movie because without it, what would be the clear stages of her journey, how would we see how it was affecting her as well? As I said above, it feels like some people think it’s just Harper perpetuating these actions, and yes, what she did to Abby is something she did to her, no excuse, but she’s also a victim of background? These are not power games she’s playing for the fun of it, in what world would she not just be happy to be out with her gf and have her parents continue to love her? Abby literally says Harper’s terrified of what the people there think, that’s all a part of her getting more wound up and tense. If we didn’t see the results of her being closeted, it’d remove much of the plot, but would go against the specific aim of how coming out was such a positive big brave step for her (which as you know, I don’t even necessarily agree with, in terms of general messaging, though, yes, it was what specifically Harper wanted and needed).
I’ve seen people talk about POV and framing and maybe that would have made the audience more sympathetic to Harper, but I guess I don’t see why it was necessary, and as I’ve mentioned, we have seen that with other characters and it didn’t really win them much sympathy. And then also, Harper needed to act that way to show why Abby would be fed up and leave, to then get to the last climactic stage of the movie. Otherwise it’d be like, well, the plan you agreed to is going fine, why not just wait till she comes out after?
And heh, I guess you can say it’s not a good storyline in general, though that seems pretty subjective, but it didn’t really trick us into thinking it was something else.
