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A bit snowed under, a bit. đ
But yes! At the start and up till the effective turning point deliberately brought on by her parents almost catching her in Abbyâs bed, she was extremely loving and affectionate, she was in love with her girlfriend and showed it, thatâs all. It was nice and really provide a bunch of moments of them in the first half.
Oh, you didnât need to send it at all, tbh, I absolutely understood what you meant!
Heh, well, they may need another movie then, lol, this one didnât really seem to do the trick too well. I thought the effect of it was clear, that everything she was doing was tied into it, but…well. Which, thatâs kind of interesting, the response to the other closeted characters. Iâll just use this next ask for that.
And another anon:
I donât see the difference between Harper and April. So I think the issue people see with Harper is more shipping than the story
You know, I was thinking about this earlier and actually took part of my answer out of another reply to put in this one. Despite some grumblings about April, and of course taking away just how many more people seemed to be aware of and watched HS, April didnât get nearly the vitriol. And watching The Wilds now, a certain character, as well, I expect there will be some people who wonât like her but it wonât be the same thing at all.Â
I think itâs so many things at once, April is–probably meaner than Harper ever was, but that was before they were in a relationship? And people will excuse that kind of meanness more? The expectations were also completely different, we didnât even know what TBH was gonna be about, itâs a silly show and the high school bully is kind of an archetype weâve come to accept and indeed, ship with the protag (Quinn, Paris)? Kinda weird when you think about it but I guess theyâre more easily accepted as these wild, absurd universes? Which, I thought HS established too, that silly story from Michelle Buteauâs tour guide to start things off, then the way Abby and Harper were chased away from the roof, then Johnâs tracking joke. It was meant to be a silly, exaggerated world. But I guess people took it more seriously?
Longevity and coming to know April over a season probably helped too. Age also, high schoolers are trapped in a different way that people are more sympathetic toward than for people in their 20s or older and plus, people expect less from high schoolers in terms of maturity and responsible, forward-thinking decision making. And indeed, a fair number of people who didnât forgive Harperâs actions toward Abby did leave out what she did to Riley, gotta acknowledge that. But not everyone. đŽ
I dunno, heh. Itâs a lot of things, I guess, but I do think that there is an expectation to come out in high school or college and the later you put it off, the less sympathy you get, itâs seen as hurting yourself, your partner, your community.
Yeah! You really canât say the time and scope for these stories is over and then be like THAT about closeted people??Â
And for real, I was so taken aback by who I was seeing these comments from! It wasnât homophobes, it wasnât even just those people whose whole shtick is snark and cattiness, it was people who say things like, everyoneâs journey is different, this coming out day remember the people canât come out now, donât excuse people for so and so action but have compassion for them, it was really hurtful and was like that one quote from that popular Tumblr post? Where you suddenly feel unwelcome where you thought you had friends? This is our own community…
I saw people call Harper straight! What?? That she shouldnât have a gf at all, sheâs a coward for not coming out, sheâs too old to be going through this, and then worse, not even about this fictional character but about closeted people in general, this is why you shouldnât date closeted people above a certain age, this is why you shouldnât date them at all.Â
A lot of the discussion has already covered the fact that these opinions are coming from people who were closeted themselves, but I think in some ways that actually makes it worse? Because thereâs a sense of, well, I did it, so why canât they? Despite the differences in not just circumstances but culture and priorities and just people individually.Â
Right, that is the literal storyline, that a usually loving gf reaches her lowest point in these circumstances. Sorry, by this point, Iâm kind of repeating the same thing, thereâs only so much to be said, especially when most of this ask is my own quote (:P) but yeah, you canât disconnect the two things. And it is up to you how willing you are to forgive her actions but itâs a character who, the story itself says, acts badly only about this one thing, acknowledges and apologizes for that, and then spends at least 10 months making up for it. And itâs part of a genre where this happens, you donât take it seriously because you know itâs exaggerated, both the ups and downs.
Heh, I know youâre joking, but I do get that from their perspective, it isnât just a bad movie nor even one a big letdown as a highly anticipated big name holiday f/f romcom, but one with a damaging narrative. I just really, really disagree with that. đŽ
Also, now that youâve mentioned that and Clea DuVallâs recent hotness is on my mind…ought I watch the f/f stuff on Handmaidâs Tale… I can be tough about some things in media but sensitive about others…
First, sorry Iâm replying so late! Obviously I always wish I could answer earlier but some of these come off more time sensitive than usual. I do hope you feel better now even if…well, nothingâs really changed on that front, just time? Well, and as other anons pointed out, the news that the movie did really well for Hulu. And personally, I feel like Iâm seeing a kind of defense spring up to the initial onslaught, so thatâs nice.
And yeah, I was way more aggressive when I stated this earlier but have since calmed down and donât want anyone to feel like Iâm attacking them specifically, but we really have seen this again and again, even with more sympathetic characters. And you just canât separate her from her background and what created her, you canât be like, yeah, I feel sorry for all that but itâs no excuse, even though, agreed, itâs not an excuse! itâs explicitly understood to be bad, by everyone! Itâs just not shown as unforgivable? Which, is that so bad?
Thereâs just…you donât have to forgive her yourself, you just have to accept that not everyone will hold it against her. But some people canât do that to such a degree, they legit think the movie is objectively bad and harmful for suggesting it. đĄ
The setup didnât seem so bad to me, it was in service of making sure the movie premise actually happened, like, would it have made a difference if sheâd told her at home but Abby still said yes? Much of the movieâs characterization of Harper is that as much as sheâs a loving, attentive gf to Abby the rest of the time, with respect to this specific thing, sheâs indecisive, drags her feet, is defensive and embarrassed about it, just does not handle anything about it well. That IS the plot, even as she proposes this silly idea of faking a friendship, weâre supposed to be like oh, no, because not only is this a movie and we know things will go wrong, but yeah, she lied about it to begin with and only told her in the car, she is weak when she comes to this and that weakness will be the downfall of this plan.
I didnât see her as not showing remorse, for either Abby or Riley, the reason she did come out was because of the level of hurt she caused both and not wanting to hurt Abby? Through some of the Shitty GF Actions, as weâll call them, leaving her alone to fend for herself and the bar and all that, yeah, at that point she wasnât even fully aware she was hurting her, she was too busy regressing and trying to paper over everything with, itâs fine, itâs fine, but then obviously saw how the suffocating convo hurt her and did apologize, and then got jealous and well, itâs a holiday movie where contrived things happen and people do stupid things.
And another anon:
I guess to add in another piece to the Happiest Season discourse, my issue isn’t with Harper directly, it with how the story is written around her. The audience is told over and over that Harper is this great person (great enough for Abby to propose after being together for barely a year) but the audience is barely shown this in her actions. We see a bit at the beginning when they’re on Christmas lights tour but it ends there and moves swiftly into gay toxic panic land. The writers needed to show the audience what is appealing about Harper not just tell us
I decided to add this one as well because I guess these two asks really get to whatâs puzzled me about this perspective, where Harper is essentially in the position of an antagonist who has to earn the good faith usually just granted to characters in her position.Â
Isnât Abby, a person who clearly is not blind to Harperâs faults when they become apparent, thinking about proposing actually showing us in itself? We can trust Abby, no? At least before she forgave Harper at the end, since so many disagree with that specifically. If we donât trust Abbyâs judgment from the start, then what even is the point of watching the movie? We donât have to be in love with Harper ourselves, we just to buy Abbyâs love for her, which I did. I remember when I tried to gif my miscellaneous Harper/Abby set, I had to whittle it down to 10 moments from way more.Â