Hmm, I do think that’s a part of it in the sense that this all is happening while Val is not fully in control. Except for when Val tried to give her the pill, Juls has been exasperatedly patient with her, humoring her little games. When she’s pulled up to dance, she’s still smiling, it’s only at the closeness that can’t mean anything because Val is high and just being playful that there’s more…pathos?
And another anon:
i think with val she was so drunk at that party that she was just going with her gut and even in the way she’d gushed over juls up until then had seemed really instinctive and kinda not self aware. whereas with juls in the zipper scene and the way she’d slept next to val there is like the RESTRAINT.. the gay woman’s restraint… u know what i mean boocita (sorry yes its me), and Juls is just way more lucid throughout the whole party scene
Omg. YOU. Still hate the name, but wow, we’ve been together for so long. :’)
No, for sure, we’ve always compared how impulsive and instinctive Val is while Juls turns inward and is so watchful and careful, by necessity, so it’d make sense that even when Val isn’t under the influence, Juls is more aware of her feelings. The gay woman’s restraint all right. Though even Val the next day can’t help but realize the implications.
And another anon:
I always thought Juls became aware of her feelings when dancing in the park and Val wasn’t aware until the Party/dress shopping. (I think they had feelings long prior but just didn’t recognize them.)
I love that there can be so many of these theories that don’t necessarily contradict each other, because obviously it is a long process of realizations and questioning yourself. “Is it because she’s so pretty? My first pretty female friend? I want to be like her? I look up to her?” We’ve all gone through that.
When I was rewatching the park dancing scene earlier today, even before the deleted scene, you had Juls clearing her throat and having trouble speaking and meeting Val’s gaze, like, she’d have to know something was up. Whether it was the catalyst to full realization or just the start of some intense self-questioning, obviously we’ll never know (unless the writers weigh in), but we can theorize!