2/? and I was wondering why I never would develop feelings for them. that was when I first started questioning my sexuality. I was confused and I wasn’t really sure of my feelings because I had never been with a girl either. I get the whole «you don’t have to sleep with a guy to know you like girls», but honestly I had no clue about what I was feeling. I was 17, and I didn’t have any gay friends or didn’t know any gay people so of course it was hard for me to know what I was feeling.
3/? I was 17, and I didn’t have any gay friends or didn’t know any gay people so of course it was hard for me to know what I was feeling. could it be that I hadn’t meet the right guy, could it be that I was in fact into girls? those two questions haunted me every single day, and I guess not having anyone who was gay around made things much harder to understand.
4/? The first time I ever got butterflies in my stomach was in fact with a girl a year later. She was four years older than me and from common friends I knew she had more experience with both guys and girls than me who was still a virgin at 18. I was nervous about her judging me for being a virgin (I know it sounds silly), but coming from a 18 year old who was very confused – is not in fact silly at all.
5/?: We started talking and hanging out a lot and every day I got more and more nervous about her having a lot of experience, versus me who didn’t. Then I got drunk one night and had sex with a guy. I knew immediately that it was a mistake and trust me if I could go back I would never do it again. But honestly, I get Juls situation. She is what, 18 years old? experiencing love for the first time and being told how wrong it is, that is not exactly easy dealing with.
6/?: And then when she in fact visit Val who is said girl she is in love with hugging and crying with her ex boyfriend? Like how bad wouldn’t that make anybody feel. I say it is a perfectly normal reaction to anybody that age who is not sure of their sexual orientation to experience with a guy as well.
7/7: Though I am a bit mad about the timing and her doing it before giving Val a chance to explain, I do get her reaction as well. She is allowed to outrage when seeing someone she loves in the arms of someone else. Honestly I think I would have done the exact same thing given the circumstances.
Thanks for sharing that, anon, I think there are people who do kind of do understand that this happens, for you, for many other young gays, but not how. So this was enlightening, because for a lot of us, there wasn’t the same pressure and confusion, so it’s difficult to process how it could lead to that. But I think, in the abstract, we can all understand how socialization, especially of younger girls, especially in certain environments, can lead to that.
I think what some fans are having trouble with is, for one thing, this being written into a fictional show, it’s their choice to go there, not the frankly…unhappy way of how it happens in real life? And yes, while we are dealing with a world that’s very messy, kidnappings and affairs and cheating, oh my, Juliantina, as we said repeatedly, seemed isolated from that, in this wonderful bubble of being well written and soft and not misunderstanding things and doing outrageous things because of that and basically free from a lot of tropes we hated.
We let ourselves lower our guard enough to think maybe, in avoiding all the easy ways it could have gone there before, it would keep doing that. Add to that the fact that Juls (and Val) have been written as strong in the face of homophobia so far, it seems so counter intuitive for Juls to bow to it now. And their love has been shown to be so strong that it’s overcome so much, and now this feels like a blow.
I really wish they hadn’t done it, it’s so messy and it’s a trope we hate for a reason, buuuut I also do see the other side of things.
As much as I do hate the involvement of men in f/f stories, I do think that the way they’re writing this is informative for the audience in mind. They’re not showing that lesbians can sleep with men, they’re saying Lupe’s arguments are wrong and lead to heartbreak. Lupe’s arguments that I’m sure a lot of viewers share. That isn’t even just in Mexico or other countries with emerging LGBT awareness, that’s something a lot of morons in a lot of places think.
Which makes it suck that Juls bowed to it, no doubt, but better a fictional character than a real person. And I do agree with you, Anon, that her circumstances are particularly terrible and make her vulnerable. People have not been able to see Juls’s perspective at a lot of different points when I think the writing has mostly clearly telegraphed it.
She’s not going to enjoy it, she’s seeing it as a mechanical effort and will always be in love with Val, thinking she’s out of her reach. It’s just one part of a long story, which has mostly been very great so far.