Thank you so much to everyone who responded. Thank you.
Thank you so much to everyone who responded. Thank you.
I’ve been crying silently and trying to gulp down sobs for most of today. My homophobic mom has been staying with me for a few months now and I can’t let her know how affected I am by this.
I’ve had a lot of moments like this recently, actually, because of all the onscreen fictional f/f deaths, because like I’ve said, I’ve come to terms with being a lesbian, but I’m deeply closeted and will remain so, probably for the rest of my life, and I know it’s just TV but it’s all I had. The attitude behind it is too real. And I’m so sad and resentful that I’ve had to lock this down, that I can’t just tell her why I’m upset, and I’m so angry at her, because it’s not fair, but what can either of us do? A few weeks back I just broke down sobbing in front of her and she was so worried and asking me why, again and again, “if you can’t tell your mother, who can you tell?” and it’s so suffocating and I feel so guilty because what if I’m underestimating her, but the cost of being wrong there is just so high.
But I’m so full of anger and grief and guilt, that I’m conflating so much of this in my head, that these are real deaths and it’s not right to link them with fiction, that it was done by a Muslim, that again I’m so upset with my mother. But I’m sorry, I’m sorry, this isn’t about me, I’m sorry.
I’ve been crying silently and trying to gulp down sobs for most of today. My homophobic mom has been staying with me for a few months now and I can’t let her know how affected I am by this.
I’ve had a lot of moments like this recently, actually, because of all the onscreen fictional f/f deaths, because like I’ve said, I’ve come to terms with being a lesbian, but I’m deeply closeted and will remain so, probably for the rest of my life, and I know it’s just TV but it’s all I had. The attitude behind it is too real. And I’m so sad and resentful that I’ve had to lock this down, that I can’t just tell her why I’m upset, and I’m so angry at her, because it’s not fair, but what can either of us do? A few weeks back I just broke down sobbing in front of her and she was so worried and asking me why, again and again, “if you can’t tell your mother, who can you tell?” and it’s so suffocating and I feel so guilty because what if I’m underestimating her, but the cost of being wrong there is just so high.
But I’m so full of anger and grief and guilt, that I’m conflating so much of this in my head, that these are real deaths and it’s not right to link them with fiction, that it was done by a Muslim, that again I’m so upset with my mother. But I’m sorry, I’m sorry, this isn’t about me, I’m sorry.
Ramadan for non-Muslims: An etiquette guide
Ramadan for non-Muslims: An etiquette guide
Read this & be mindful of those partaking in Ramadan.
I would rather everyone read and shared this instead of “remember to tag your food/nsfw/etc!” post that’s going around every year. (None of these things actually break your fast and if you’re fasting and worried about seeing them, you shouldn’t be on tumblr).
Being considerate and kind goes a long way, so I’d appreciate if this post went around instead.
Ramadan for non-Muslims: An etiquette guide
Ramadan for non-Muslims: An etiquette guide
Read this & be mindful of those partaking in Ramadan.
I would rather everyone read and shared this instead of “remember to tag your food/nsfw/etc!” post that’s going around every year. (None of these things actually break your fast and if you’re fasting and worried about seeing them, you shouldn’t be on tumblr).
Being considerate and kind goes a long way, so I’d appreciate if this post went around instead.
Thoughts about the Korean film adaptation of Fingersmith?
Hoo boy. Genuinely no idea of what to expect, my last knowledge of
the topic is a a couple of weeks out of date, and with how up and down
the reactions have been, I don’t know where we stand now. At this point
I’ve seen the disappointment from the increased role of Gentleman and
making him a participant in m/f relationships and the unease at why
Sarah Waters would suggest changing it from “based on” to “inspired by”.
And the m/f in some of the trailers.
But, then there’s been the
reviews that say it’s very female-centric, irreverent and fun in way
that fits the story and Park Chan-wook, contradicting the criticisms of
it catering to the male gaze. Sooooo. I shall wait and see. I think that
it won’t be the absolutely perfect unproblematic final savior of f/f
media, but I do think it’ll be something to add to the good, rewatchable list.
Thoughts about the Korean film adaptation of Fingersmith?
Hoo boy. Genuinely no idea of what to expect, my last knowledge of
the topic is a a couple of weeks out of date, and with how up and down
the reactions have been, I don’t know where we stand now. At this point
I’ve seen the disappointment from the increased role of Gentleman and
making him a participant in m/f relationships and the unease at why
Sarah Waters would suggest changing it from “based on” to “inspired by”.
And the m/f in some of the trailers.
But, then there’s been the
reviews that say it’s very female-centric, irreverent and fun in way
that fits the story and Park Chan-wook, contradicting the criticisms of
it catering to the male gaze. Sooooo. I shall wait and see. I think that
it won’t be the absolutely perfect unproblematic final savior of f/f
media, but I do think it’ll be something to add to the good, rewatchable list.
